I could have fallen in love a million times over, for every single person who was kind to me and treated me well, but I made a conscious effort not to.
I chose not to and I stuck with it, unlike most, because love is a choice. It has always been a choice mistaken for chance or coincidence or even fate. People always say that "it just happened" or that they "didn't see it coming", but the truth is they did. They saw it staring right back at them and they chose to follow through instead of breaking the fall.
It keeps me sane knowing that love is a choice. Maybe I'm the crazy one. Maybe I'll never know. Feelings come and go like phases and they don't matter if they have to be evoked by another being. I let this thought bury itself into my mind, my go to whenever there's an ache in my chest or butterflies in my stomach.
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